Men

Let's talk about men.

I've strolled into the land of "Latin Lovers" and I've very much had it. I hate men kissing my hands, I hate men telling me they love me after our first broken conversation of hand gestures, I hate having to take the tram in the wrong direction so I don't get followed home, I hate having to hide in my house for days because I don't want to accidentally run into someone in this little city. I'm by no means a slut, not like it would matter if I were, but I do not have the energy to take care of people who I barely know yet alone can barely hold a conversation with. OR WANT TO HOLD A CONVERSATION WITH. Like, if I wander off, it does not mean "follow me." NO. It means I don't want to be in your presence however I do not think I should be forced away from a public place that I have every right to be in alone. And throwing up the middle finger just leaves them thirsty for more. It's called a hint. Take it.

Funny Story: What's written on this hoodie
actually translates into "Rape Me" in Italian
OH WAIT
NO, it FUCKING doesn't!

I leave my house for one reason: because I feel bad burdening my roommate with my presence. I throw on a men’s hoodie, pop my ear buds in, bring my book, and sit where there is plenty of people watching to be had. I do not need more male admirers, especially when you don’t have any redeeming qualities besides a brother that makes a fine pizza (this is not a racist joke, this is a real example). I have some guys I like here, they treat me quite well for what I seem to be (a slab of meat?) and I’m really ok with not being your mother or third girlfriend. I don’t need to nurse you to health when I’m the one feeling homesick. Don’t act like I have time. I don’t. That’s why I don’t have makeup on. I DON’T HAVE TIME. Unless I like you, which, chances are, unless your name starts with an L or an F or a vagina, I don’t.

But speaking of men, let’s turn back to look at New York City. They could learn a few things from the guys here. Like, you know, to have a fucking soul. New York men are so self-sufficient and simply don’t have time for this shit called romance, nor anything else besides humping and dumping.

If the goal for both cities’ men is to get it in, you’d think that there would be some middle ground. I suppose that’s what the middle of the US is for. Maybe. What even exists there? Are there even women there? I don’t know.

All in all, I hate going outside.