I Wish I Had a Crystal Ball

UHHHHHHHHHHH

Today is the 18th. December 18th. As my departure from NYC draws closer (AKA a day away), I'm driven further into insanity. I have no classes, no care in the world until March 11th. It feels really unnatural to me to feel like I'm heading into the unknown. All my classmates have said their goodbyes and are giddy to begin another semester that will be much like the past two-and-a-half years. I, on the other hand, will be heading to a foreign country almost completely unarmed for the reality that is the next semester. Sure, I know that I'm taking a handful of carefully selected classes, however who knows whether I'll be able to handle the work load or make friends or...who knows. It's kind of unnerving but also satisfying to know I get to take a much-needed break from the institution I've grown to, to put it bluntly, dislike.

But it's also so weird because this semester has been my favorite of the five I have taken part in. I've loved being on OStaff-I love being able to interact with the kids in my group and be the cool upperclassmen who they look up to, I've loved taking a studio class that really encourages me to go outside my comfort zone and explore-designing coat bustiers and Snuffy bras and pubic panties AND creating them has been a dream come true, I've loved learning to knit, I've loved interning for a household name, and I've loved being able to FOCUS. I don't think I've ever really encountered that at Pratt; we've been pushed to create and create and create but not think or think or think. And we've been punished for not thinking. "You haven't thought your concept through". How could I when I'm "conceptualizing" for 7 other classes and only have two weeks time to complete any given project. If I'm not inspired, I'm sure as hell not going to be thinking about what I'm creating and I sure as hell won't enjoy it. I guess that's what separates us from the underclassmen, we're privileged with the ability to spend a little time on an idea. Expand on it. Thank goodness because I don't think I could spend another semester having to madlib an apparel project. "This is my (insert market) project based on (insert country or culture) using (insert media)." Childrenswear, Russia, Colored Pencil. Accessories, US Army, Marker. FUCK, THIS, SHIT. Ripped that band-aid off.

No G line for a semester? NO PROBLEM.
Live will be 10000000x better...clearly
map from http://subway.umka.org

But now that I feel like I'm on the upturn, I'm leaving. I'm packing my stuff, shoving it in a 5x5 closet, and leaving. It's really quite surreal. But at least if I have an amazing time I can look back at this semester and say "well, ok, I guess it's almost alright if I go back to the States..." almost.